bengalooroo

on returning from a short trip back home in bangalore it has dawned on me, just how much bangalore has really changed as a city. being away for even a few months and returning, somehow gave me different perspective on the city altogether. although it will always be "home", i realized that i might never be able to live there again.

the bangalore i have grown up in and come to love and cherish, is unfortunately a part of history now. and honestly, i feel its something that once lost, can never be brought back. the unprecedented change/development and the damage it has caused to the city, is irreversible as far as i can see it. and it amazes me how no one else sees it the same way.

why are the influential, rich, powerful people in the city sitting back and watching this wonderful city be torn down in parts? those who realize it and dont do much to be a part of changing it, move out i guess. much like i did. so actually, i cannot sit back and complain. i can merely see, observe, feel pain and wish and pray that someday it will change for the better.

homesick

its true. i miss home. and im referring to the goan one here.
my trip in bangalore got spontaneously extended. TWICE. im not complaining. extra time back home is always good. but i DO miss goa.

i miss the birds i hear every morning. i miss the easy driving. i miss vc. i miss chandralekha. i miss my maid. i miss cooking. i miss walking over to the general stores across the street every morning in my shorts, without a care in the world. i miss how easy it is. i also miss how hard it sometimes is.

i know when im back in goa, il probably miss bangalore again (im kind of schizo that way), but i do miss goa. i miss that sense of settledness. which one can only feel at home. the feeling one misses when youre away.

goa = home.

many firsts..

the move to goa has presented many firsts in my life. its a move of firsts, so to speak!

for one, its the first time im going to be living in a city outside of bangalore.
its the first time im going to have, maintain and manage my own home.
its the first time i went house-hunting.
its the first time i understood what a "water problem" can be like.
its the first time i realized that the happy-go-lucky perspective people have of goans is not all true.
its the first time im going to be in a city where i know absolutely nobody, and that is a scary thought!
its the first time im going to be unemployed for a bit, without an option to fall back on.
its the first time im going to really live life on my terms.

im excited to say the very least. im sure its going to be an experience with its ups and down, challenges and successes, the goods and the bads. but im up for it.